The RuneScape Anti Noob Guide
by Killer of thy Cookies
Summary: Ever wonder why people call you a noob? Ever wonder why you never make it big in RuneScape? The RuneScape Anti Noob Guide is the story for you. REFRAIN from doing any of these things and people might just start changing their opinion about you. COMPLETE.
1. Aren't You a Little Too Noobish?

**After seeing all these noobs on RuneScape(I'm one of them, though not THAT nooby), I've decided to make a guide to teach these noobs HOW EXACTLY to distant themselves from the word "noob". A review is appreciated. ALWAYS appreciated. Here, I'm going to write some stuff that makes you a NOOB. The (X) sign means that I had done it before. **

* * *

You run into the Wilderness despite the danger signs, and you're only Level 3.

You get lost despite being above Level 10. (X)

You are afraid of chickens.

You attack the farmer who is Level 7 or 8 when you're only Level 3.

You enter a Bounty World even when you have seen the warning signs and then wonder why you get killed by other high-leved random players.

You continue chopping on the tree even if you see a scary face on it. Then you end up wondering why in the world is your hatchet broken. (X)

You enter Al Kharid using the Pay Toll option before getting angry at the guard who has 'stolen' 10gp from you.

When a high-leveled player who has done Prince Ali Rescue enters Al Kharid for free, you say they hacked.

You think you're rich when you have 1K. (X)

You still don't know what 'gp' is despite being Level 20 and above.

You leave your character in an unsafe place where high-leveled and aggressive monsters are crawling around and go 'afk'. When you come back, you wonder why you're dead.

You talk to NPCs and you're angry when they don't reply.

You think that since Mithril and Rune are of the same colour, they are the same besides their name.

When you're called a "noob", you wonder what it means.

When other people perform emotes that you don't have, you say they hacked.

You do not know how to change your attacking style. (X)

You sell feathers for 1gp each. (X)

You want to go on a revenant hunt without knowing what revenants are.

You run whenever there's a Random Event.

When people talk about pures and skillers you have absolutely no idea what they are talking about.

You think you're awesome when you start RuneScape at Level 3 instead of Level 1.

You think you're superb when you start RuneScape with clothes.

You randomly type a few words because you're bored and then press the Enter key. You then wonder why there's yellow words on top of your head.

You laugh at Level 3s for being low-leveled when they're in reality skillers. Then you get scared when they show off their main to you.

You are able to get kicked out of a clan for spamming when you DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SPAMMING IS.

* * *

**That's about all. Try not to do any of these things. Add me in RuneScape, my username is Thycookies. **


	2. You're Freaking Me Out

**Never expected I'd wrote a second chapter, huh? This chapter will be about real-life situations IN RUNESCAPE(Repeat: in RuneScape) about the noobs. These stuff really happened to me on RuneScape, on my character Thycookies. In case your wondering a few are fictional. **

* * *

_Script 1 - Saying your hot in public  
Characters: Thycookies, 125rage _

125rage: Say 123 if you think im hot

Thycookies: I think your as hot as Megan Fox

125rage: omg really

Thycookies: no

125rage: why? im so hot

Thycookies: only a noob will go around saying he's hot

125rage: im a noob?

Thycookies: yeah

125rage: if you think im a noob say 124

Everyone: 124

125rage: arrgghhh

* * *

_Script 2 - The Baby Noob  
Characters: Thycookies, Bounce babe2 _

Bounce babe2: Hey why can't I hit the cows

Thycookies: thats because im hitting them, stupid

Bounce babe2: your sayin bad words, doesnt runescape ban bad words

Thycookies: stupid is a bad word?

Bounce babe2: ya

Thycookies: are you 5 years old or something

Bounce babe2: 6 years old

Thycookies: go drink your milk bottle dude

Bounce babe2: but how do i hit the cows

Thycookies: how can you when im hitting them, noob?

Bounce babe2: what's a noob?

Thycookies: zzz

* * *

_Script 3 - Know Your Stats, Noob  
Characters: Thycookies, melvin366_

Melvin366: Why can't I wear this armor called a mithril platebody?

Thycookies: probably bcoz ur def lvl is too low?

Melvin366: What's def lvl

Thycookies: Defence Level

Melvin366: what's defence?

Thycookies: check ur stats page noob

Melvin366: what's a noob? where's the stats page?

Thycookies: YOU FREAKING NOOB

Melvin366: my defence level says im level 1

Thycookies: u need to have defence level 20 to wear mithril

Melvin366: huh who set up that rule?

Thycookies: jagex?

Melvin366: what's jagex?

Thycookies: NOOB~ why did you buy that platebody anyway?

Melvin366: coz it looked cool?

Thycookies: WHAT A NOOB

* * *

_Script 4 - Easy Scamming  
Characters: Thycookies, red cruel 5 _

red cruel 5: y do ppl sell feathers

Thycookies: a noob like u wont know

red cruel 5: whats a noob

Thycookies: zzz i get that all the time

red cruel 5: sellin feathers

Thycookies: 0_o how much?

red cruel 5: 50gp each

Thycookies: thats daylight robbery!

red cruel 5: then hw much r feathers worth

Thycookies: 1gp each?

red cruel 5: ok (trades) puts (insert number here) feathers on trade

Thycookies: puts (insert number here) gp

Thycookies: alrite 1 feather 4 1 gp

(Trade complete)

red cruel 5: bye

Thycookies: OMG THAT WAS SO EASY

* * *

_Script 5 - A Noob in the Bounty World  
Characters: Thycookies, tan52shane, macpower_

Thycookies: bounty world... any1 wan fight me?

tan52shane: meee

Thycookies: wow your such a noob still dare come bounty world?

tan52shane: who says im a noob, im lvl 5 your higher lvl than me must be coz u hacked

Thycookies: ...

macpower: wow a noob here i come

tan52shane: bring it on hacker noob

macpower: zzz

Thycookies: lol

tan52shane: nooo im dead

Thycookies: lols thats fast

macpower: he doesnt even have any good items...

Thycookies: wanna duel?

macpower: k

tan52shane: oi oi oi where r my items

Thycookies: oh its the noob agn

macpower: zz they disappear when you die

tan52shane: wad? no one told me

Thycookies: z they give u a warning when u come into bounty world

tan52shane: i saw it but i didnt know it was for real

Thycookies: what? brainless dweeb

tan52shane: giv me bk my stuff!

macpower: dun be lame noob once i get ur stuff im free to keep it

tan52shane: im going to report u fr hacking

macpower: feel free

tan52shane: (runs away)

* * *

_Script 6 - The Sandwich Lady  
Characters: Thycookies, hary hary, Sandwich Lady _

Sandwich Lady: Sandwiches, hary hary!

hary hary: what?

Thycookies: lol sandwich lady

hary hary: omg theres a mad woman on my tail pestering me with sandwiches

Thycookies: click on her, stupid

hary hary: i don tink so she looks scary im going to run away

Thycookies: ... you can't run

hary hary: ahhhhh (gets hit over the head by Sandwich Lady

Thycookies: random event noob

* * *

_Script 7 - The Al Kharid Guard is a thief!  
Characters: Thycookies, fernando775_

fernando775: omg that guard stole 10gp from me

Thycookies: probably bcoz u passed thru the gate

fernando775: but i didnt giv him permission to touch my stuff

Thycookies: 10gp will automatically go to the guard when u pass thru the gate, noob

fernando775: but how can he? this is absurd! runescape is weird

Thycookies: zzzzz tell it to jagex

fernando775: what's jagex?

Thycookies: the team that created runescape?

fernando775: where on earth are they

Thycookies: i dunno, in their office?

fernando775: runescape have offices?

Thycookies: ... i mean in real life

fernando775: alright im going to look for them now

Thycookies: hey come on it was just a joke

fernando775: (log off)

Thycookies: lol

* * *

**Haha. Have you ran into any of these scenarios before? Tell me if you have! The broken english was not an accident, do you think people in RuneScape or any computer game for that matter speaks in actual proper english in the game? Review! **


End file.
